Merry Christmas!

It’s Christmas Eve and I’m about to head off to visit some family until late tomorrow night.

Here’s wishing all of you a safe and happy holiday, whatever your plans may be!

39 Responses to “Merry Christmas!”

  1. khatores Says:

    Oh no, I’m so offended! I’ve made up my own holiday and expect everyone else to recognize it!

    Happy Tulapoki, everyone! Today I’ll be starting a giant bonfire, on which I will sacrifice an amadillo every day until January 3rd. Last year the cops came and said I was stinking of the neighborhood, but I sued the city on the grounds that they were violating my religious beliefs and got an injunction!

  2. paulie cannoli Says:

    Were you wearing an armadillo helmet when you sacrificed the armadillo?

  3. Anthony Distler Says:

    Merry Christmas to everyone out there!

    And a Happy Tulapoki to khatores. Good luck with that armadillo thing. I support your first amendment right to free religion and your second amendment right to wax as many of those suckers you wish.

  4. paulie cannoli Says:

    I love all the holiday traditions.

    I want to add to my collections.

    What holidays if any were celebrated long, long ago in a galaxy not so far away when A. Allen Hacker was the Galactic Emperor?

    “it’s snowing on the moon of Jupiter”

  5. Trent Hill Says:


    Gotta get some armadillos.

  6. Timothy West Says:

    i made it to xmas 2006. Now to see 2007, and then turn the calendar again.

  7. undercover_anarchist Says:

    Good will to all men! Including homosexuals, abortionists, women, and colored people!

  8. matt Says:

    Yes indeed! All of them and Iraqis too.
    How about those of us who believe in God all take a little time tomorrow to pray for folks in that unjustly screwed country?

  9. RCAIP Says:

    Merry Christmas Austin.

    At lest the Holiday spirit hasn’t been extinguished by the Liberals and bigoted athiests, yet!

  10. Citizens For A Better Veterans Home[s] Says:

    Happy Merry Chrismahanakuanzaka!!

    and happy festivest for the rest of us!

    Including the unemployed members

    of the original ‘Seinfeld’ crew and cast!

  11. Steve Says:

    Here’s a Christmas tribute that any libertarian should love, even those of you who are not believers in Jesus.

    To many in America, the “War on Christmas” is a matter of disappointment at not hearing traditional Christmas carols at school concerts, the “Merry Christmas” greeting giving way to the politically correct “Happy Holidays,” and public displays of the Nativity scene on government property giving way to Santa, Christmas trees or no display at all. As upsetting and unnecessary as these changes in tradition may be, they do not stop us as citizens from exercising the freedoms that we cherish. After opening your presents today, you can still join with your family and carol to homes in your neighborhood. You can still say “Merry Christmas” to everyone you greet today, and you can put up your own manger scene in your yard to let others know that you believe without fear of reprisal. We should be thankful for such freedoms.
    After all, God didn’t seem to mind that on the first Christmas there was no room at the inn in Bethlehem. He didn’t demand bright lights in the town square or governmental proclamations. He came to be with us, not to demand attention from governments. His coming challenged Mary, Joseph, the shepherds and the wise men to believe and to act.
    Full story:,1375,VCS_125_5232899,00.html
    Peace on earth and goodwill to you all.

  12. Nick Wilson Says:

    “the “Merry Christmas” greeting giving way to the politically correct “Happy Holidays”

    I think that the reality is that there are more holidays than just Christmas (I count three - Hanukkah, as well as the secular New Year’s and Kwanzaa - but maybe four if you include Tulapoki). It’s not so much political correctness as it is expressing wider holiday cheer than just Christmas. And there’s a lot of cheer to exploit from a span of two or three weeks.

    It’s not so much that “Merry Christmas” is exclusionary, considering that the holiday has become so secularized that even many non-Christians like myself celebrate it. It’s just more practical to have a catch-all banner than having to take down all the Merry Christmas signs and then put up Happy New Year signs for a holiday six days later, or put up signs for all four holidays.

    Anyhow, happy holidays everyone.

  13. paulie cannoli Says:

    It’s all about the solstice.

    I’m sure there are more than four or five ways to name or interpret it.

    The regime should have nothing to do with naming it, celebrating it, or anything at all. The regime should just go away peacefully like an honorable old Eskimo, float away on an iceberg and die.

    While the regime still exists, it should stick to as little as possible, least of all our holiday traditions among many other things it has no business poking its dirty snout in.

    Same thing goes, just a little less strongly only due to limited time and the necessity to prioritize, for the regime’s bastard “private” corporate children.

    The winter solstice is all about hope, hope for the return of warmth and light in the bleak dark days of winter. As the days start getting longer the weary peasants know there is hope for surviving into the spring.

    Everything else is window dressing.

    Not that the birth of Jesus is unimportant, if you believe in his divinity, or even consider his message meaningful and relevant. But realistically, that was not on December 25 or even close. And not everyone in this great diverse country and world is a follower of Yeshua, or even wants to be.

    So, happy solstice and fill-in-the-blank holidays to everyone, including khatores’ tulapoki, and and even to religious bigots, xenophobes, control freaks and haters who want to wage a war over the name of this holiday.

    May their spiritual master and/or creator forgive these poor fools, hypocrites, and charlatans, one and all.

    Let’s all have a giant armadillo barbecue and throw some city inspectors on the barbie while we’re at it.

  14. Anthony Distler Says:

    “(I count three - Hanukkah, as well as the secular New Year’s and Kwanzaa - but maybe four if you include Tulapoki).”

    This year, Eid al-Adha, a Muslim Festival of Sacrifice falls on December 30th, and the Wiccan’s Winter Solstice fell on December 20th. So, now you can count five.

  15. Anthony Distler Says:

    “(I count three - Hanukkah, as well as the secular New Year’s and Kwanzaa - but maybe four if you include Tulapoki).”

    This year, Eid al-Adha, a Muslim Festival of Sacrifice falls on December 30th, and the Wiccan’s Winter Solstice fell on December 21st. So, now you can count five.

  16. Carl Says:

    For those who get mad at the fading of “Merry Christmas,” it is worth remembering that it is debatable whether Christmas is even a Christian holiday in the first place. The date corresponds to pagan post-solstace festivals, as do such things as Christmas trees, yule logs, etc.

    The Puritans OUTLAWED Christmas!

    This country won the Revolutionary War partly because the early colonists (especially those in New England) were not big on Christmas. Washington crossed the Delaware on Christmas Eve and routed the Hessians, who were celebrating Christmas.

  17. Phil Sawyer Says:

    As a Christian (and member of the Presbyterian Church USA), I would have to admit that Carl is probably correct about the pagan heritage of Christmas. That is the beauty of the evolution of human culture: There is something for everyone (of whatever spiritual faith) to celebrate!

    By the way, I am on the side of the armidillos and the city inspectors.

  18. Trent Hill Says:

    Your on the side of the armadillos!?

  19. Stuart Richards Says:

    Well, I’m Orthodox and so I can tell you that God doesn’t celebrate Christmas until January 6. :p

    But, eh, I’m only a catechumen so I celebrated today anyway. Merry Christmas (and whatever else), everyone!

  20. Timothy West Says:

    R.I.P. James Brown - :(

  21. torah Says:

    lol I knew there had to be a L. Ron Hacker joke somewhere.

    You boys might want to keep an eye on him. He could very well use this holiday season to flee outside of the country and say screw the campaign and debt!

  22. paulie cannoli Says:

    Torah borah…

  23. Austin Cassidy Says:

    Wow… had no idea saying “Merry Christmas” would cause so much controversy… lol…

  24. Stuart Richards Says:

    Oh c’mon… we could each issue several-page point-counterpoint treatises on whether the sky is blue or not if asked.

  25. Austin Cassidy Says:

    LOL! True….. true…..

  26. Timothy West Says:

    is James Brown’s death real, or did Kevin Federline have him killed to steal and enslave his immortal soul power for his pathetic no talent white ass?


  27. Trent Hill Says:

    Kevin Federline killed James Brown in order to ruin the annual sacrifice of armadillos!

  28. Phil Sawyer Says:

    Yes, Trent, I am on the side of the armidillos, the city inspectors, and the poor pike that someone put in that California lake quite a few years ago - which caused such an uproar because they were eating all the carp, etc. Hey, it was not their fault that they were transported somewhere else - whether it was legal or illegal!

    It is not that I am trying to destroy the Tulapoki Holiday completely. I am just saying that it is time for the true believers to come into the modern world - like those remote Scottish Island Pagans in “The Wicker Man” should have done.

    Besides, the armadillo is sacred. The aardvark was used extensively as a symbol in Eugene McCarthy’s presidential campaigns.

    Let them eat tofu!

  29. Trent Hill Says:

    LMAO. Phil Sawyer, I respect thee.

  30. paulie cannoli Says:

    OK, I can see a case for the Armadillos.

    I’ll have to kill one soon so that I don’t allow this nagging sense of sympathy to make me weak in the new year.

    As for the city inspectors, well, it’s like Jo Dee Messina says in My Give A Damn’s Busted

    I really wanna care
    I wanna feel something
    Let me dig a little deeper
    No, sorry, nothing

    Now, as for the Tulapoki holiday, we will not allow your Eurocentric culture to marginalize our beliefs and defang us, like some sad looking natives performing in a traveling carnival for the amusement of the booboise, or left to sell trinkets by the side of the road and sniff glue.

    We will break our chains like King Kong, sacrifice armadillos and city inspectors in the traditional way, much as our ancestors have done since way back in the 1980s, and we will do our funky fire dance.

    For, while we can do this funky dance, the armadillo dance (sorta like the funky chicken, but even funkier) we know that our spiritual funky brothers, James Brown and Gerald Ford, live on in spirit through our wild barbaric joy.

    But we are educated savages; we can use wikipedia and google, and learn that Because of the phytoestrogen content, some studies indicate that there is a correlation between a soybean-rich diet and a decrease in the level of testosterone in men;

    A study carried out at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast linked soy to male infertility, including damage of reproductive capability already caused during childhood.

    Yes, foolish unbelievers, this time we know the hidden agenda behind your nanny state’s kind and gentle cultural meddling:

    Those busybody city inspectors want to emasculate us and take away our mojo.

    Well, this time they have another thing coming!

    We will head them off at the pass and impale them on our barbecues, and please the Gods with their sacrifice as we eat their half-cooked brains and do our funky armadillo dance.

    And then we will go out as missionaries and lure your daughters into our tribe with the forbidden knowledge and magic we possess. We’ll start by telling the wide-eyed young ones that Santa is just as an anagram for Satan as we feed them candy.

    We might even dress up as Santa next year, the better to lure them back to our slay, whoops, I mean sleigh.

    Tofu’s for sissies!

    We’ll eat our Hoover Hogs with pride (see wikipedia article on armadillos)
    and as for aardvarks…mmmmm, bacon. (wikipedia aardvarks).

    And may the chintzy souls of the nanny state city inspectors go through ever more horrible reincarnations in deeper levels of hell with every lifetime for all eternity! They can take their bitch-ass complaining neighbors with them.

    In the name of the Aardvark, the Armadillo and the Anteater, Amen!

  31. Happy Tulapoki everyone… « Last Free Voice Says:

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  32. Happy Tulapoki everyone… « paulie cannoli Says:

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  33. Nigel Watt Says:

    I started this thread pro-armadillo, but I’ve defected. Don’t try to marginalize Tulapoki, you insensitive Eurocentric WASPs!

  34. paulie cannoli Says:

    As for you, “paulie,”:

    p) Why the quotes? My name is Paul.

    It sounds as though you are writing satire but I’m not certain what the underlying message is.

    p) The medium is the message. We live in a mess of an age, and we’ll make our armadillo sacrifices a rare medium well done. Sat ire is in the I of the bee holder.

    You should remember that Jesus astounded some of His followers when He decided to break bread with the tax collectors (who were even more reviled back then than they are now days). Furthermore, He was able to forgive those who tortured and crucified Him. Is it really so difficult to have a little sympathy for the city inspectors? Hey, I work for the County of Sacramento! Are we next on the endangered list?

    p) I would give you every chance to repent, like Saul of Tarsus, who after all did not continue his job as a tax collector after he became a Christian.

    But yes, I would in fact put all monopoly-government jobs on the endangered list.

    Would individuals who enforce unjust government edicts be on the endangered list? I suppose that could happen somewhere. I hold no personal animosity to every government agent, so my best advice is to think for yourself and not do anything that violates your conscience on behalf of the job. Or better yet quit, and find a job in the private sector or better yet still be self-employed, if possible.

    That tax collectors are less reviled now than then is a sign of decline in our modern times. We ought to harken back to our roots on that one.

    I have sympathy for all humans, but at some point, if they are in the midst of violating someone’s rights, I won’t cry if they get hurt for that. If enough of that happens, there will be less incentive to engage in evil-doing. For example, see the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising.

    How about some Viagra with your tofu?

    I prefer armadillo brains. They taste better. Also, more organic.

    Sacrificing armardillos is a sacred tribal tradition dating back to our distant ancestors in the mysterious club scene of the 1980s. Way back before techno was even called techno, even. You just can’t mess with our ancient ways without causing us to rise up and defend our culture, our tradition, and the angry spirits of our ancestors.

    Non-believers, fair warning has been given: don’t mess with the armadillos sacrifices! It may just be the leprosy and mad armadillo brain disease, but we can be an ornery, violent bunch when our sacred traditions and inalienable rights are messed with, just like our spiritual ancestors ranging from the American colonialists who flew the Gadsden flag (a coiled serprent and the logo, don’t tread on me) to Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse to Nat Turner.

    Like the Beastie Boys, we will fight for our right to party. And like Flavor Flav and Chuck D said we’ll be a party for our right to fight. Yeah, boyeeeee. I love New York.

    City inspectors? Repent or die!

  35. Phil Sawyer Says:

    Okay, Paul. I did not realize that “paulie cannoli” was a real name. My mistake.

    Let me go on to say, though, that just because some things have always been done in certain ways does not make them right. Furthermore, it does no good (and it does much harm) to facilitate the confusion and mess of the age that we live in rather than to attempt to shed light on the complexities and the problems.

    There are some things that we may never agree about. You are opposed to socialism and I am opposed to anarchy, capitalism, monopoly capitalism, imperialism, and violence of all sorts (except for the right to self defense, of course). However, we do agree about the need for peace in the world and for fair ballot, debate, and media access. It is the places where we do agree that I will try to start placing most of my energy.

    Member: CUIP; GPUS; Unity08. In search of the perfect socialist party that the world has not allowed me to create and lead.

  36. paulie cannoli Says:

    Okay, Paul. I did not realize that “paulie cannoli” was a real name. My mistake.

    p) Paul is, Cannoli isn’t.

    I’d prefer my discussions of my views on the internet, stay on the internet. Anyway, what does it matter? As far as I am concerned the only reason to post a name online is to distinguish my comments from someone else’s, and paulie cannoli is as good a name as any.

    Since you insist on making this a serious discussion, fine.

    There are some things that we may never agree about. You are opposed to socialism

    paul) I have nothing against socialism if it is defined as “voluntary cooperative ownership of the means of production” - only if it is defined as “monopoly state ownership of the means of production.”

    I am opposed to anarchy, capitalism, monopoly capitalism, imperialism, and violence of all sorts (except for the right to self defense, of course).

    p) I am an anarchist. This means peaceful anarchy, not chaos.

    I oppose monopoly capital and imperialism.

    I only believe in violence for self-defense too, or as a game among mutually consenting partners/teams/whatever.

    For political purposes, I don’t call myself a capitalist - I prefer mutualist, voluntarist, or any other number of terms.

    See discussion at

    on this point - anti-concepts and the package deal.

    Actually, if you have time, read the whole thing - it’s really good.

    As an economic practice, I employ capital much as I employ labor, land, time and other factors of production. But I’m not a capitalist any more than I am a landist, for example.

    We probably agree about more than you think we do.

    However, we do agree about the need for peace in the world and for fair ballot, debate, and media access. It is the places where we do agree that I will try to start placing most of my energy.

    p) Cool. Me too.


    p) My ideal party would combine the end-goals of the Green’s Ten Key Values with means of achieving them which are completely consistent with the libertarian non-initiation of force principle.

    In fact, I believe that is the only way of really achieving those goals.

    But I really wasn’t intending to turn this into a serious conversation.

    Happy New Year.

  37. Phil Sawyer Says:

    When it comes to socialism, I am very serious. As a matter of fact, I am rather serious about everything. Oh well.

    In the early 70’s, the people of Chile elected a real socialist government and it was violenty overthrown by an extremely brutal counter-revolution led by the military (on 9-11-73). The revolutionaries were in the process of getting ready to defend their government better but were out organized by the oppostion. It was very, very tragic.

  38. padiublm Says:



  39. sfyicwxt - Google Search Says:

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